Goofiness

Originally published 10/29/09

These things have made me laugh lately:

• On our way to our youth group outing last week, we passed a small development of houses served by a dead-end road that parallels the main road we were on. There was a sedan driving away from the dead end, and we could see a person's arm out the window. The arm was attached to a leash. The leash was attached to a beagle-sized dog, who was running like mad to keep up with the car.
  
  Houston, we have officially found the laziest person on Earth!!
• The back of this children's book, which says:
  

  Toddie is a baby just like
  any other--sort of.
  The thing is, he's big.
  Really big.

• At the same youth event, the trip home was enlived by JT, who always enlivens things (he can be frankly overpoweringly enlivening!). As we sat waiting for a stoplight to change, someone mentioned the temperature on the bank said it was "only" 102. This sent him into a riff that had me nearly crying with laughter: That's not a bank. (It's not? What is it?) It's a building. (OK, well, it's a building that's a bank.) No, it's just a building. The bank is inside the building.
  
  And so on....
  
  It's possible you needed to be there.
  
  His encore was a video (on his phone) of a dog in a banana costume. The kid has potential as a comedian, but I wouldn't want to be his teacher!!
• There is a new Grace Kelly book out. It has two titles:
  

  True Grace : the life and death of an American princess (title page) AND
  True Grace : the life and times of an American princess (cover)

  Well gee, St. Martin's, let's not make a decision at all on the title. It's just TOO difficult!
• At breakfast yesterday morning at Six Balls--which was uncommonly crowded for some reason--we were seated across the aisle from a booth containing a mom, three kids, and grandma. The oldest child, a girl, was 11 or 12, the two youngest, boys, were 2ish and 5ish. After being fed with pancakes & syrup with chocolate milk, the boys started to ramp it up in the high two-digit decibel range. Mom tried to hush them, grandma tried to hush them, sister tried to hush them. There was singing (Itsy Bitsy Spider, and Where is Thumbkin?). Nothing really worked for very long.
  
  Finally, the ultimatum to end all ultimatums was delivered to them: "If you two don't settle down and be quiet, I'm not taking you to Wal-Mart!!"
  
  Beast and I couldn't look at each other, but he picked up his pen and wrote one word on my placemat: "Blog?"