Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Abdicate

As usual, my family is proving to be much more lovable in theory and at a distance. My sister is due to arrive in the area the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. She and Jan will be staying with their daughter (my niece Katherine) and her (long-suffering) husband, Alan. We have hosted Thanksgiving dinner for the majority of the past 8 years. Katherine and Alan, Alan's mother and step-dad, and my two nephews (another branch of my family) have been the usual contingent, along with FIL the last few years. And Amy, if she's willing to tolerate my family's insanity. My assumption--uh-oh, right?--was that I'd do the usual thing this year again, with Jan and Marie added to the crowd. So I ordered a fresh turkey. We're all good to let the festivities commence.

Then Katherine decided she wanted to do Thanksgiving at her house for Alan's family. Because, after all, Mom will be there to help (i.e., do all the planning and work).

Except that's not going to work because ... I don't really know why. So then the plan was to host everyone from Jan's family (he grew up in this area and his sisters and their families still live here), and us.

Keep in mind that if there are more than 8 people in their living room, we will have to go outside to change our minds. It's a teeny-tiny house. With fucking long-haired cats in it, to boot. {{aah-CHOO}}

Katherine works Friday morning and Saturday morning. I work Friday all day. The backup plan my sister has hatched is to have a leftovers kind of meal on Saturday afternoon at our house. Uh, no. See above re turkey, all 20 lbs. of it.

By the way, no one has mentioned any of this hullabaloo to my nephews to find out if they want to come on a weekend instead of Thursday. And, oh, yeah, FIL is falling through the cracks a bit here. [I couldn't really care less about Alan's mom and stepdad.]

Here's the email I just sent Marie and Katherine:
I'm not sure how this is all going to work, honestly. I need to check in with [Beast] yet, since he has not yet returned after his dad's surgery, but just so everyone knows, I have pre-ordered a turkey, so "just leftovers" on Saturday isn't going to work for us. I actually don't mind cooking the whole meal; it's the one time each year I make a big deal in the kitchen.

It seems that everyone's schedule is completely incongruent with other people's. [Beast] will be out of town earlier the week of Thanksgiving and may be traveling other weeks too. One of my coworkers will be on maternity leave starting any day and that means that I will need to pull extra hours if I have any chance at all of keeping my head above water. And we're doing fundraisers at church for youth group.

As for my schedule at this point, I work [weekdays]. I also work Sat 12/9. I put in a few hours every Monday morning at [Sparky]'s school library as well. We will be taking the youth group kids [shopping in the Big City] on Sunday 12/5, and I'm sure the bell choir will be playing on 12/12 for music Sunday. Those are the definite dates. I think we'll be doing fundraiser stuff at a lock-in at church on 12/10. Maybe. We might be able to push it off till the following weekend if necessary.

OK, I'm off to figure out something for [Sparky] and me to eat while [Beast] cools his heels at CVS with everyone else who needs scrips filled tonight.
Do I sound a right bitch? Well, fuck: I don't care. I'm so very tired of people just assuming that my time is infinitely juggle-able. It's not. I'd love to be able to drop everything and reschedule because of other people's emergencies* or brainstorms, but I just can't. Things are literally cram-jammed into a general semblance of coherence that is frequently upset by our own personal "course-corrections." Like FIL's surgery. Sparky's work schedule. Car problems.

Gah. I want my private island now. Me, my nephews, Amy, Jenny, FIL, and my own household. That's ALL! Oh, and any of my blog friends. And if that makes me Queen Bitch, so be it.
______________
* My attitude was not helped in any way earlier today by having to cover for the sudden departure from work of Miss W. for an emergency. Her grandson fell and banged himself up. She had to go hold her daughter's hand. How the hell did I survive Sparky's childhood without any local hand-holders besides Beast? I mean, really.

5 thing(s) to say:

revelsofthedead said...

*HUGS*

Cat. said...

...and today I discovered that I was (inadvertently) (I hope) not invited to my niece's wedding when she posted an 'event' on Facebook and my sister AND brother both messaged her that they'd responded.

Fine.

amy said...

Gotta remember to pack my flak jacket for T-day....
And lots of spare hugs.

molly said...

my advice: make your plans to cook your turkey. Let the other people make their plans as they will. You are guaranteed to see your son and husband (and Amy) for Thanksgiving, hopefully your FIL in good enough shape, and that will be sufficient unto the day. If you can drop in on the craziness anybody else comes up with, if they manage to schedule it when you are free -- and you have made quite clear when that will be -- ok. No, you don't sound bitchy in the email, you sound frazzled.

Cat. said...

A: No flak jacket needed, especially if artcat says yes.

M: Good advice. I'm trying to follow it without feeling like a heel.

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