Fashion advice from the library

originally published 11/10/06

I know I'm not exactly a shining example in the haute world, but I do have one piece of basic advice in terms of color matching:

If you choose to dye your graying-blonde hair bright orange in order to be seasonal--or is it because you want people to confuse your head with a pumpkin or a pile of maple leaves?--please, I beg you, do NOT wear a fluffy pale-pink chenille turtleneck.
My suggestion: wait until December, dye your hair poinsetta-red, and then wear the pink. Because, especially for old people, orangey-streaky-blonde juxtaposed with pale pink is just too much of a color shift and it may induce seizures in passersby. Or vomiting, in same. And it would be a shame to ruin your Doc Martens.

Thanks. Now, I must get back to work.