Saturday, November 16, 2013


I haven't had much to say that's printable over the past month. Lots of internal work. Lots of tongue- and lip-biting. And nail-biting. Certainly not a great deal of fun. Plus, I turned 50 this week.

Today we're going to the zoo. It's a fundraiser for a project in a city near and dear to Beast's and my hearts, which is run by the son of our current pastor. We had planned to go but hadn't purchased tickets, and then T. emailed Beast earlier in the week to see if we wanted to use the tickets he'd gotten for his parents (our pastor and his wife). Since we'll be within shouting distance of Sparky, we'll have a little time to see him today too. It's a sort of low-impact thing that will do good things in the community and maybe not be too overwhelming in a social sense. I hope. Plus, Beast needs to book two Saturday nights at Holiday Inns before the end of the year to we're spending the night. And then rushing back so I can help teach Sunday School tomorrow.

Right now, Beast is off to a meeting, and I'm supposed to be headed to Weight Watchers. Neither of us is excited about our respective 'dates'--he's annoyed/frustrated/angry with His Guy at the meeting, and I know I've packed on some pounds. This was, after all, the week that, for the first time ever, I left the house specifically to go to the mini-mart and buy junk food to eat because I was stressed. Anyway, because I don't eat before I weigh in, Beast and I plan to hit the local yummy pancake place for breakfast afterwards. I'm getting a flu shot as well because his meeting is longer than mine.

Nothing much to say in the wide world except that I really hate November in spite of it being Beast's and my birthday month. Next week is the 19th anniversary of my dad's death (his birthday was earlier in the month), and I've been thinking about and missing him like mad. Beast's discussions of how he's dealing with the deaths of his parents have stirred the pot for me, but even without that, it's still just a shitty period of the year. And Thanksgiving follows up, which I love as a holiday but has a lot of potential for emotional landmines.

Someone this week reminded me that November is the cloudiest month of the year around here (tied with February). It's been pretty lousy this year, and suddenly cold. I'm kind of dreading winter and my SAD kicking back in, and all the extra drama of the holidays and so forth. But, there's nothing to be done about time passing, so I'll just face each day the best I can. Thank GOD for my friends!! No, seriously, I'm pretty sure I'd be in a locked ward if not for them! That goes for blog-friends as well as in-the-flesh friends.

So, I'm skating the surface in this post. I have some ideas of how to get back to writing more consistently here, but getting into the habit is a difficulty. I need to banish Facebook from my life, and do this instead.

That's all. Off to hear bad news about my weight. Whee.

1 thing(s) to say:

amy said...

Oh, you. There's a lot to say, but the only thing that matters, I think, at the moment, is this: I love you just the way you are. In all ways that can be construed. Give yourself all the grace you need, to be who you are. We'll get through the rest over time.

And call, text, email, pigeon, whatever, whenever. xoxoxoxoxoxox

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