Saturday, December 14, 2013


12-14 -
Grinch Week: To whom it may concern. Write a letter to the person / company / group annoying you the most this holiday season (examples - the radio station that keeps playing that horrible song; the guy down the street with the excess of tacky decorations; whoever it was who thought adding peppermint to a mocha was a good idea).
Dear Victorians,
Thank you for all the lovely traditions you began in your erstwhile earnestness to see that everyone had a job to do during the Yuletide. However, now that we no longer have servants up the wazoo, I curse you every year for instituting the Christmas card tradition, the Christmas pudding tradition, the tree-decorating tradition, the making-of-cookies tradition (though I'm not sure if this is truly Victorian), the giant freaking Christmas dinner tradition, the massive commercialized gift-giving tradition, and all the other things that absolutely require servants to do "properly" without losing one's mind for the entire month of December. Everyone now thinks that' all of this is what Christmas should look like, but there is pretty much no one out there who can accomplish the whole thing while keeping a good sense of joy and anticipation on tap for the, y'know, reason we celebrate in the first place. The only thing I'm on board with you-all about is Boxing Day, which we in the U.S. at least have conveniently forgotten about under duress from the "Post-Christmas-Sale" crowd.

In the inimitable words of Waylon Jennings, who probably didn't do any of this stuff, y'all can just shove it!

I remain, with a large and very full glass of wassail, yours,

1 thing(s) to say:

Kwizgiver said...


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