Continuing in a series of extremely sporadic updates..........

Mostly this post is for putting my thoughts together, something I'm increasingly needing--and not wanting--to do. I've been trying to practice the One Day, One Minute principles, except when I have to think about wider- and longer-term stuff because reality.

So in the past month:

• Beast got stopped out of state and cited for DUI and resisting arrest. He spent the night in jail. Even though he, and I the next morning, told the jail he is diabetic, he received no insulin until after his court appearance at 1 p.m., about 24 hours after his last injection.
• He was 'grounded' from travel at work. He drives a company car and because it was damaged--rear-view mirror knocked off--they didn't want him driving at all. So we rented a car for him.
• Boss seems to be behind him, working to see what he can do to keep Beast in the game. He's been a good supervisor through all of the drama of the past 3 years.
• In the process of this 'resisting' he is accused of, the officers threw him to the ground and sat on him. His neck, back, shoulders are incredibly sore, and remain so. We're both worried about damage being done to his neck implants, but it's his lower back that hurts most.
• First time back with his attorney at the courthouse went well, more or less. He hired a local attorney to help him figure out all the complications at this end of the driver licensing stuff that may come out of the court findings at trial in [other state].
• He starts intensive, daily AA meetings, and then gets back into outpatient rehab: 9-12 every week day.
• The morning of his third day of rehab, he has a work telecon he's asked to attend. Pretty normal stuff. Except this one starts out with his boss and a guy from HR telling him they're firing him. He's to send back his phone, computer, printer...and someone will be coming to get the car. (this was 8/22) 22 years at the same company.
• Last Thursday, I discover him asleep in the living room with an (empty) bottle of vodka on his lap. He, understandably but infuriatingly, bought it Monday. He tells a mutual (AA) friend over the weekend, however, he's got 30 days in program. I'm not entirely sure that all 30 days 'count' when you've been drinking at least for four of them. But whatever. He has a sponsor and he's a lot clearer on staying sober than he has been for awhile.
• We're leaving on vacation 9/5, overseas. His next (last, hopefully) court appearance out of state is 9/2. They could remand him. They could also tell him he can't leave the country. We don't know. If he doesn't go, Sparky and I have to figure out renting and driving a car in England on our own. Yes, we'll be going, because my nephew is getting married 9/9.
• I'm attending every damned Al-Anon meeting since this started. It's helping. I'm not freaking out. Only my boss and two coworkers know the details of all of this. My sponsors and other Al-Anon people. A couple of very good friends know some parts of it. My family knows NOTHING. Honestly, there's nothing for them to know until WE know what the court decides. ... Well, I guess they need to know he's unemployed.

That's my life right now. Getting through the days, hour by hour. Woke up in a panic attack this morning, but there's nothing I can do, so I chanted the Serenity Prayer in my head and it eased a bit. Next thing is going to work and getting through my day. A LOT of important stuff is getting passed by because I just can't. I'm barely keeping my head above water, so there's a lot of prayer and a lot of inaction otherwise. This might be the true meaning of "the wheels fell off" my life.