Bad math = bad future (repost

Q: When do 18 and 15 add up to a permanent criminal record?

A: When those two ages have sex.

It's also not good to be caught in mid-act by a member of the library staff, who then asks for ID.

I'm just sayin'....

Talk about a cold shower.

(from Feb. 27, 2009)

Can't believe this was seven years ago. I wonder what's happened to these two. Pretty sure the 18-year-old disappeared back to Mexico after the event, but I wonder how she's doing at age 22 now.

Avoidance

I should be working on this morning's Sunday School lesson, or at least settling on what I'm doing with the (probably small turnout) class today, but I had a thought.

You know when you get together with a friend who brings along some friends of his* own and it brings some deeper understanding of your friend? You get to see how he^ interacts with others, you get to meet some potentially cool people--I mean, after all, they are people someone you like has chosen to spend time with so you should have stuff in common--and maybe make some new friends of your own. This is the expected outcome, I think, in gatherings of this sort.

So, what does it mean when you come across someone in the Friend of a Friend situation that you absolutely loathe? Like, on sight. And then he^ opens his* mouth and confirms that he^ is worthy only of being swatted or ignored at best. And once you've been introduced he^ ignores you and prates on and on about how wonderful your mutual friend is in every way. Which, technically, of course is true. I mean you both like this friend, right? But suddenly you are questioning your friend's judgment in the friend-making department and wondering if you also are a complete jackass.

It's even worse when you have a good friend who is married to an asshat. Or, in my case--though this is NOT where this thought originated--a sister whose husband needs to be dropkicked into oblivion.

What does one do when one sees a friend being toadied to? Agree with the toad? Ignore the toad? Argue with the toad? There's no win-win solution and I just end up feeling weirdly distanced and disconnected from my friend and sort of jealous and weird and insecure and middle-school-y.

Which brings me full-circle to the need to do some work on Sunday School stuff.

________
* or her
^ or she
Both done for ease since having to write "he or she" in every case would be ludicrous and I just can't deal with "they" all the time. In this case, it got kind of convoluted writing "they" anyway.

For FUCK'S SAKE!

Remember this post? The weeks since then have been much better. I don't think I've done anything differently except maybe reined in my goofy humor a bit, and she's still mostly ignoring me, but when I say something to her, we get along fine. This is not to say I think she's all that, but there haven't been issues.

Until today. Her son--yeah, the annoying Mean Boy/Showoff that we all had (or were) in grade school classes--was griping about having to sing with the "little kids" (he's 7) that "dumb song" ("This Little Light of Mine") because "church songs are all dumb!" I theoretically agree with him that there is a lot of crap music in churches, so I smiled as he took off and said to his mom, "Heh, you've got your hands full with him in the next few years." Her response: "Well, we like him! We think he's pretty awesome in fact."

What?!?!

WTF? Did I say I didn't like him? Did I imply that I didn't think he is a great kid? No, and I wouldn't because I do think he is a smart kid, and funny, and talented. That all adds up to being a handful.

I've made this exact statement to parents for years. I've heard the same thing from other people about Sparky. It's pretty much a meaningless comment people toss off when a kid does something obnoxious-but-age-appropriate. It's not a freighted comment, meant to be interpreted as a slam on  the parents, the kid, or (for sure) the person saying it.

So the question I've got here is: can I last three more weeks of my term working with her? I don't want to respond with "FINE! If you're going to be a bitch, then I won't volunteer to do anything for you this summer!" since that doesn't help, but I did just move her from Friend to Acquaintance on Facebook, and I know that I will be hard-pressed to get involved with anything she's involved with just because I do not need this hassle. This won't be easy: our church isn't very big, and since I like kids and she has three of them, we're bound to bounce into each other.

The annoying thing is that her husband is great. He and I work together just fine. I've helped him out a couple of times when she had to stay home with a sick kid and he needed someone to mind the other kids just while he participated in worship. He's just a smart, wicked funny, guy. And I can't for the life of me understand why he tolerates her small-minded idiocy.

Oops, maybe she's a mind reader? Actually, though, I don't think I felt that way about her till I noticed her ignoring me and generally being a bitch. Clearly her son's apple didn't fall far from the tree.  /meow

What a week...

Talk about an emotional rollercoaster...

Christmas was awesome; completely boring with lotsa good swag for all.

Work this week was about as close to vacation as work could be. It's gonna be hard getting back into this whole "having a boss" thing in two weeks, but Techie Librarian is looking like she's ready to be OVAH-WITH this interim director gig.

Thursday morning I found a post from one of my college profs about one of his colleagues (another prof in the same department) who has been a joy to get to know outside of prof-hood, and who has been battling cancer for several years. It sounds pretty bad--the war is nearly over.

Thursday night sucked for other nonbloggable reasons.

Yesterday, the check from the sale of FIL's out-of-state condo arrived.

My eyes have gotten quite bad this week, especially in the shifting from one distance to another. As in...it doesn't happen.

Beast has been very occupied this week with getting the house wired to legally and safely be able to plug in the generator to power the house if/when we lose electricity the next time. He's done a lot of research to make sure he knows what he's doing, purchased several new parts, watch a gazillion videos, showed Sparky (irony much?) some basic and not-so-basic wiring tips, and hasn't electrocuted himself. Plus, he installed an automatic battery-powered light next to the fuse box that will come on when the power goes out.

Yesterday I had a headache all day. Took aspirin at about 10:30, Tylenol at 1, and Advil at 3, and then worked a manic-busy 2-hour shift at Reference. Two other reference staff had already left sick, and the only other one there was trying to wind things up to go on vacation, so I really couldn't leave. The headache was one of those perfect storm headaches: tension, sinus, and eye-strain all at once.

Went and picked out new eyeglass frames for the Rx I got last month. It's a new procedure since last time I bought glasses (new insurance), so it took awhile longer. But people were super-nice at the new place, which is off-set by the fact that I probably won't get the glasses for about 10 days. Back up the truck: I'll be chugging down the painkillers this week.

We got the @*%^ing paperwork for the last step in settling FIL's estate from BIL today. After three weeks of him being a Class-A dick about it.

Tonight I got a text from a former youth group member asking if I was busy tonight. Well, it turned out she wasn't able to leave the house, but she texted me the "gist" of things. Her mom and step-dad are ultra-conservative, which makes me rather insane since they are blessed with some pretty awesome kids. R is simply one of the most conscientious young people I know, and has been since I met her at age 15 when she started coming to youth group. The "gist" of today's problem: she came out to her mom & step-dad on Wednesday. They are not handling this in a very enlightened way at all. She didn't go into details, but I can imagine that their response would be the most rancid "Christian" spewage. She spent Wednesday night at someone else's house--a friend, I can guess who, but she didn't say. Friend, in the case, meaning friend, period.

So let's see: this week, medical issues, the vague threat of electrocution, general family strain (holiday edition), work weirdness, good fun, lots of sleep, and someone asking for support.

Basically, life is full of good and bad. I'm sadder than sad about Dr. H. and R.'s parents. I'm grateful she has taken that step and that she trusts me (and Beast). I'm getting more and more concerned about my eyesight, but hoping the new glasses sort that out. I'm looking forward to the new year with some good positive feelings about work, household, and financial stuff. And the guinea pigs always make me giggle, even when I'm shouting at them to stop squeaking already, I just gave them food for cryin' in the rain!

Oh, and I have another great-nephew, as of December 5:

And on that happy note, I will close.

Brick Wall

There's a woman at church with whom I work on doing stuff with the children quite often. I have no idea why, but she clearly can't stand me. She doesn't understand my humor, she ignores me as much as possible, and that line has gotten closer and closer to "all the time" as time has passed in the past 12 months.

For the life of me, I can't figure out what it was/is that I did/do that gets her hackles up. I have nothing against her at all although her oldest child annoys the Cuh-RAP out of me and I don't understand why she doesn't try to correct him. I've tried to joke with her, I've tried to show her that I understand how hard it is to stay home with kids all day and carry on with a career, she clearly knows I like kids in general (her other two are fine, and in fact her oldest is whip-smart and I do like him too in spite of his behavior).

Yet, this morning she totally took a comment I made completely wrong (when she cam in after activities had started, I jokingly said she was "late" to which she replied frostily that no she wasn't, in fact she'd been there since 8:30 and was only out of the room for a really good reason...which was true, and I was smiling when I said that to her. Even the kids in the room understood I was kidding!). This afternoon her Facebook was updated to say, "After seeing that I was upset about something not nice someone said to me today, my wonderful six-year-old made me this card. Tear." [and a picture of cute little card]

Now, granted, I'm not the only person she interacted with today, and I left church over two hours before that was posted, so it is eminently likely that someone else was "not nice" to her. But I am at my wit's end trying to figure out what to do. I guess I'm just going to have to write her a note (email or Facebook PM) or corner her at church somehow and ask her why she's upset with me. Part of the frustration I have is that she hasn't addressed it with me already, or dealt with whatever it is on her own, but she's fairly young and I probably wouldn't have been able to do that at her age. So....blergh.

Regardless, I have to figure this out soon, because the atmosphere just keeps getting more and more toxic when we're together. The kids have got to be picking it up at some level. I don't really enjoy working with the kids when I'm trying like mad not to say or do anything hurtful to her (which also annoys me because, really, we are there to work with the kids, so drop your attitude at the door, yo!). All of which makes me wonder if I come across somehow as being a right bitch, or just "old" and not worth her time, or what.

The more I'm around people, the more I like dogs. Really. So much less complicated.

ALA Midwinter Leftovers

Remember way back in January when just about all I talked about (on here) was ALA? Well, I haven't had a chance--or time, or energy, or whatever--to unpack all the books I snagged. Now, since that conference, last month was "the" big annual conference where apparently a ton of people's panties got in an uproar about Advanced Reading Copies (ARCs). Or maybe it was just one or two panties in an uproar; I don't know. I do know that I attended the opening day of exhibits at Midwinter and haven't often witnessed anything more piggish in my life than librarians grabbing and snatching every book in sight. Yes, I took a few, too, but I tried to stay away from stuff I really didn't care about (i.e. picture books) and I also tried to hang by the smaller publishing houses since I was a little afraid to be in the Random House aisle with the crazy-snatching-librarians.

In the end, I had a large, full bag every single day I left the exhibits, and I'm finally pulling the books out to see what I actually ended up with. It makes me laugh that these are supposedly "Advanced" but I'll be reading them well after their actual publication dates (in most cases). And, to be fair, some are truly the final copy of the book, not ARCs at all. It's a little confusing, to be honest.

Anyway, here's the haul:

"Former secret police agent Leo Demidov is thrown into a foreign conflict and is forced to question and confront everything he ever thought he knew about his country, his family, and himself."

I 'read' Child 44 on CD about 6 months after it came out, picking it up blindly because a) "ooh, Russia!", b) "ooh, Soviet history!", and c) "ooh, crime novel!" Turned out to be a very memorable book that somehow reminded me a bit of the movie version of Dr. Zhivago, something with which it has little in common. When his second book (The Secret Speech) came out, I snatched it up and raced through it; unfortunately, all I remember is that it was really good, but not as good as the first. I really am excited to read this one though, and may go back and reread the others, too.

"A satire set in Texas during America's war in Iraq that explores the gaping national disconnect between the war at home and the war abroad. Follows the surviving members of the heroic Bravo Squad through one exhausting stop in their media-intensive "Victory Tour" at Texas Stadium, football mecca of the Dallas Cowboys, their fans, promoters, and cheerleaders."

Yes, ok, I picked this up because it's about football. I'll probably hold off till September or October to read this so I'm in the right frame of mind for spectacle and irony. My ARC has a completely different cover. I can't find a photo that matches my cover, which has confetti splattered over the top & bottom frame and a pair of army boot in the lower right of the page, all on a white background. I think I like the green one better.

"In the near future, the conjoined Armstrong twins, under the guise of the Armstrong Fancy Gifts Corporation, plot to create their own version of utopia using nanobots, while a guerilla group known as BZRK develops a DNA-based biot that can stop bots, but at risk of the host's brain."

Gotta grab me some dystopian YA. Honestly, I've never really heard of this author, but I was struck by the cover (I know, I know), and that while flipping through the book, it actually looked fairly 'smart.' We'll see.

"A woman seeking a reprieve from a going-nowhere relationship finds solace in flying to exotic places around the world from Alaska to Bhutan."

Not too hard to figure out why I'd pick up a book on getting away from reality at the point things were at in January with my reality! OK, truthfully? I'd've grabbed a book about travel anyway. Besides, the author lives in Creede, Colorado, and her other book is on my to-read list: Cowboys Are My Weakness.

"When Emily Covington's past as a drug addict catches up to her, she is framed for a murder she did not commit, and must identify the killer to clear her name and protect her family."

I've only just noticed the subtitle here: "an Intervention novel." This...confuses me a bit. Then again, I snagged this one because I haven't read anything by her, and she's a fairly popular mainstream Christian author, and Zondervan's booth wasn't exactly mobbed. I'm interested to see what a Christian intervention looks like, if it is any different than a non-Christian one.

"Jai Pausch shares her own story for the first time: is a powerful story of grief, healing, and newfound independence. With advice artfully woven into an intimate, beautifully written narrative, Jai's story will inspire not only the legions of readers who made The Last Lecture a bestseller, but also those who are embarking on a journey of loss and renewal themselves."

I loved her husband's lecture before it was published as a book. He was quite inspirational. It will be interesting to see if she is his equal.

My ARC copy is nothing like this cover: kludgy "crown archetype" background with just the boilerplate information superimposed over it. Also makes of point of being an "uncorrected proof."

"A visionary scientist creates a revolutionary form of artificial intelligence that predicts movements in the financial markets with uncanny accuracy. His hedge fund, based in Geneva, makes billions. But after an intruder breaks into his home, he has to try to discover who is trying to destroy him."

Hmm, realizing I may have overdone the number of books about the future. On the other hand, I think it's just about time I read a Robert Harris book--I have wanted to read Fatherland since it first came out. Maybe I'll do a two-fer; maybe I'll learn something about economics in this one.

"Isabel is a single, twentysomething thrift-store shopper and collector of remnants, things cast off or left behind by others. 'Glaciers' follows Isabel through a day in her life in which work with damaged books in the basement of a library, unrequited love for the former soldier who fixes her computer, and dreams of the perfect vintage dress move over a backdrop of deteriorating urban architecture and the imminent loss of the glaciers she knew as a young girl in Alaska.

This is a very tiny book, just 174 pages with lots of white space. And it looks interesting. Would it be VERY bad if I admitted that when I saw the cover I actually grabbed for a friend who does a lot of costuming for plays, and works at the library as well?

"After two young women are found dead, both drowned in their own blood, Inspector Harry Hole is compelled to return to Norway to see his dying father and to investigate the brutal crime, which may be the work of a serial killer."

Another author I've been meaning to read for eons. No time like the present, eh?

This one is really my vision of ARCs: orange tagboard cover (inside of which is the cover to the left), black print that's essentially a mash-up of the title page, verso and recto, and very tight print on all the pages. Not pretty, just functional.

"In 1974, fourteen-year-old Bonnie, eight other Amelia Earhart Cadets aged nine to seventeen, and their irresponsible young leader are stranded on a forbidden island off the coast of Thailand on the brink of a deadly storm and must fight to survive."

So, could be Lord of the Flies for girls. In any case, it's definitely all-girl adventure fiction for YAs. Looks good. Kinda excited about this one; probably a very fast read.

"Seventeen-year-old Kendra, living in the shadow of her brother's obsessive-compulsive disorder, takes a life-changing road trip with him."

I'm sure traveling with with someone with OCD would be interesting, possibly even life-changing. Actually, this makes it sound kind of boring. The description on the back includes the information that Kendra is caught up in a cheating scandal which could pose problems for her "perfect" reputation. She actually sounds just as OCD as her brother, in my eyes.

"Recruited on a clandestine mission to thwart the transfer of nuclear warheads into rogue hands, covert operative turned A-list movie star Ty Hunter uses all his skills as a spy, soldier, and actor to match wits with an enigmatic billionaire."

Hmmm, why on earth did I take this one? Not my kind of book in general, but I do like the cover. Maybe it will be better than it sounds.

"LinkedIn cofounder and chairman Reid Hoffman and author Ben Casnocha show how to manage your career as if it were a start-up business: a living, breathing, growing start-up of you. Start-ups--and the entrepreneurs who run them--are nimble. They invest in themselves. They build their professional networks. They take intelligent risks. They make uncertainty and volatility work to their advantage. These are the very same skills professionals need to get ahead today. This book will teach you the best practices of Silicon Valley start-ups, and how to apply these entrepreneurial strategies to your career."

I have absolutely no clue why I took this one either. Should be a quick read, though.

"At the age of 19, fluent-French-speaking Briton Marian Sutro is recruited for service in the Special Operations Executive during World War II, only to find that another secret organization wants her to infiltrate Paris to persuade a research physicist to join the Allied war effort."

Now this sounds like something I'd read! Based on history, espionage, smart women, some vague romance-y stuff that is not the main point of the story.... Can't wait!

"A young reporter on assignment is attacked and bitten by an unknown beast in rural Northern California and begins a terrifying but seductive transformation into a being with a dual nature, both man and wolf."

I haven't read an Anne Rice book yet. I should. I'm pretty tired of vampires, so a wolf book seems like a better plan. Another one I'm kind of excited about. And I do love that cover!

My ARC copy is encased in a plain white cover similar to the Jo Nesbø book, with a mock-up of the final cover just inside the jacket. Nice.

Quandary

In my GReader feeds there is one category in which I have filed two blogs, and the comments from one of those blogs.

Stop, just a minute! I have to preface this whole post by saying that I'm really really far behind in my RSS feed-reading: there are nearly 300 400-omg total unread posts there, mostly library-related (221) or potential memes-to-do-when-I-have-time (182). So I'm behind. OK.

However, in this one folder, there are just 3 feeds. Since June 29, there have been 53 posts accrue in that folder. One blog has not posted in that time, or if it has, I've read those posts (all, maybe, two of them). The other two--blog + comments--account for the rest. I'm having great difficulty gearing up to read because the main blog posts are a series based on a speech. I read part one when it was posted. [Yes, apparently there are 8 or 9 posts which total one speech--thank God I didn't have to sit through the whole thing, eh?] The other 40-something links are comments to the above posts.

I don't want to read this speech. I should, so I know what's going on in my field as a whole, but on the other hand based on the "intro" I'm not sure I should. I want to strangle the person who wrote it--a not unfamiliar feeling, to be fair--and I'm close to 100% positive that every comment will be "OH U SO WUNNAFUL!! Y DINT WE TINK UV DAT?!!!!" I'm not sure I can deal with the posts themselves, and reading the comments will depress me because it means that there are a large number of Shovers and Makers in libraries who are completely ridiculously STOOPUD! Not to mention, easily swayed by pretty words and narcissism.

On the other other hand, none of that should surprise me at this point. There are a lot of really stupid people doing management in libraries. I will probably end up reading the posts, getting pissed off, and NOT reading the comments. Unless I read 'em all, but only while drinking a bottle of Everclear (should probably make sure someone's around to keep me from posting drunk).

EDIT, 7/15: Having considered the situation from multiple angles since posting this, I've decided to "mark as read" the whole kit-and-caboodle of those 53 (now 56) posts/comments, and unsubscribe from the blog itself. Will keep receiving the comments for now, at least this week. Life's too short and complicated to worry about other people's stoopud.

Totally What Some Library Patrons are Like

A Clear And Self-Centered Danger:
(Bookstore | Boston, MA, USA)

(A couple approaches the information desk while I’m manning it. They are probably in their mid-60s.)

Me:  ”Can I help you find something?”
Customer:  ”Yes, where are your paperbacks by Clancy?”
Me:  ”They’re right over here in fiction; follow me.”
(They tag along behind me as I lead them the 10 steps over to the fiction wall.)
Me:  ”He’s this whole shelf, and part of the next one.  Was there anything else you were looking for today?”
Customer:  ”Other stuff like him. You know, like Woods, Connelly, and Lescroart.”
Me:  ”Well, they’re all here in fiction too. It’s alphabetical by author, so you can work your way down from here.  Woods is right at the end by the window.”
Customer:  *peevish* “Why can’t you people just put all the stuff I like together?!”
(At this point his wife, who has been silent the whole time, chimes in.)
Customer’s Wife: “Because the world STILL doesn’t revolve around you, dear.” *to me* “His mother has a lot to answer for!”

Oh how I adore Not Always Right!

Old haunts

I can't remember if I have mentioned that Sparky is attending the same college that Beast and I went to (independent of our wishes, by the way--he really wanted to go there more than either of us wanted him to). The school is about an hour from our house, so it's quite easy for him to get home and back on holidays, unlike either of his parents who were both at least 1000 miles from home and only got home on the Big Ones: Christmas and Spring Break.

We took him back last night after I got home from work, leaving the house at about 5:45 and dumping his stuff in his dorm room and heading to a nearby pizza dive establishment that also serves up a local specialty: p0nz@r0tti. It's inside-out pizza, deep-fried. Probably the worst food on the planet, and SO FREAKIN' GOOD (till you're done and spend hours burping...).

Amazing: biting into the crust was like biting into College. It brought every p0nz@ I've eaten right back to mind. Crazy-good. Also, last night was the first time I've ever finished one in one sitting. My eating, uhm, skills have increased over the past 30 years, I guess. hah

So we were enjoying the ambiance (ahem) and watching the people coming in to eat or pick up orders. There was a high school-ish aged couple that came in right after us with her little sister; they sat in the booth behind ours. There were families and groups of friends, some stereotypical people, some not-so. Mostly just a busy pizza spot for all intents and purposes.

This being the state that it is, a guy came in and ordered a (small) plastic cup of beer. I am not sure at all whether he ordered anything else, but bear in mind that this is NOT a bar, but every place in that state serves beer. It's required, possibly even state law (I think they have to serve milk too, FWIW, lol). He was clearly already off on his own little spirit-induced planet, which became extremely obvious when he began to play air-guitar licks along with the hard-rock station providing the background music.  This was baroque, visually noisy guitar-playing, very flamboyant. Sparky and I could barely keep straight faces.

Dude then offered his partially-eaten back of pork rinds around to the people behind him (two booths from us), then made a general incoherent announcement that he was willing to share: "Anibod' wan eni? Ann-nee-bod'?" At this point I noted that his beer was only down about 1/2" so he hadn't GOTTEN drunk on-site, but he was (as I told Beast) well past 12 sheets to the wind.

And then he noticed Beast. And Sparky. And came over to push Beast's shoulder and tell him that he could tell that Beast is "a grea' mutha-fuckin' dad!" then point at Sparky and say, "You oughdda be ... yer dad's a good fugg-kin' dad, I can tell! My dad was an asssssss-ho' but this guy....." prod, push "is a GOOD fuckin' dad."

Silence had fallen in the restaurant at this point. Everyone at all the tables was watching avidly from under their hats and half-closed eyes, ever-so-grateful this guy had leeched onto us instead of them, gauging what the chances are of getting out the door without him seeing them and following them out. No one moved.

Beast took it in good stride, keeping his eyes on the guy's face, but watching the rest of the room (that he could see) as well, agreeing with him, not encouraging him, but letting him ramble on. And ramble on he did, mostly in a language I don't speak aside from the frequent "mutha-fucks" and "bu'SHIT!" interpolations. Thankfully, he was so stereotypical of the area that I wasn't even in the room as far as he was concerned, so I could pay attention to the rest of the room (that I could see) and Sparky--who mostly looked shell-shocked but was following his dad's lead and nodding agreeably whenever the diatribe seemed directed at him--until Beast finally said, "Well, we need to get going." Another minute or so, and we were standing and putting our coats on and moving slowly towards the entrance. As soon as we stood, the high school-ish kids behind us were on their feet and moving, using us as shields to get out the door at the same time. I caught the girl's eye in the doorway and she said, "We were just waiting for you to leave so we could!" Yeah, they were the next in line to be 'advised' by this guy.

Sparky and I got to the car with Beast following a few seconds later; he had stopped at the kitchen door because he had been able to see the staff watching from there and wanted to let them know that the guy wasn't really hassling us, but he was right on the edge and could easily get to be a problem if he took something just the wrong way.

This sort of occurrence used to happen occasionally when we lived in the area; it was quite weird to have it happen again last night after living where we do now for 17 years. I don't think we've had to deal this directly with a drunk in eons. Maybe because Sparky was little for most of that time, but I think really it's a whole cultural thing; people around here have a whole different take on drinking than people in that area.

Aside from the nerve-wracking, somewhat humorous aspects of all this, I just felt so sad for the guy. He probably isn't any older than Beast and me, possibly younger, and his life is so small. Sigh.

Sparky...didn't really say much. It probably re-confirmed his lack of interest in drinking, though. I hope. Thanks, God! :-)

Today, Beast is feeling horrible--sort of food-poisoned--and he's wondering if, while shaking the guy's hand goodbye last night, he picked up some kind of bug. The guy's hands were NOT clean; we discussed that last night in fact, and Beast went and washed up at the dorm when we dropped off Sparky. In any case, he's crashed out "watching" Scott Van Pelt on ESPN in his recliner under a blanket.



Oh, and our garage door spring broke over the weekend. It's been a very bizarre few days.

Twitter

So.

I have a Twitter account -- no, I'm not linking to it here because it's a little too obvious who I am there, but if you know me and want it, let me know -- not that I tweet much. But because it mentions that I work in a library, and because MANY tweets are about library stuff, and because I follow other library tweeters, I get random followers who think I'm "somebody."

I'm not.

Today's addition is someone named Chelles!e B D@ncer who apparently writes "er0tic" fiction. Yesterday was about loan reconsolidation (or something), and last week I was found by a marketing CEO and something called Keep[suburb name]Cops. Earlier random followers include a HVAC company and a roofing company.

Those are just the ones I haven't blocked because they are skanky or phishy.

And that is all the news that's fit to print today. Sadly.

Seeing the future

I have a colleague (shudder) in the library field whose social network stuff is ... uhm ... interesting to read, or at least pop into periodically. She bears watching. I recently set up HootSuite to stream any mention of her tweets or mentions of her tweets in a separate column. The column title is "DangerWillRobinson!" I added her (ahem) inamorato to this list: tweets by and about him as well.

This week, said boy has suddenly hit a little blurp of fame on a geek library site, blah blah blah. About two dozen people tweeted huzzahs in his direction. Said girl ... did not. Now, it's perfectly possible that she has learned the value of private communication (not fucking likely, but let's give a girl a break), although one could--and I would--argue that publicly congratulating someone you "love" is not something you should ever hold back on. But based on what she DID tweet today it certainly doesn't seem like this leopard's spots have changed a bit.

Having watched other relationships she's been in implode (rather explosively), this is how it starts. The spotlight shifts to someone else, and she gets peeved. Payback ensues. Etc., etc. ... fireworks.

I wonder if she is even aware of this cycle. I KNOW he doesn't have a clue. Idiot. Please God, don't let Sparky get mixed up with anyone like her; hopefully I've 'trained' him better!

Not Safe for ... well, anywhere public where it could be misinterpreted....

I promise I will post something for realz today, but I just ran across this and nearly cried and threw up at the same time I was laughing my ass off:

Leave it to the Brits.

OK then

I just got repeatedly flipped off by a LOL who was annoyed because I didn't allow her to cut me off in traffic. She then ended up whizzing past me in the parking lot of the store, and then we walked inside, quite literally, right next to each other...because she race-walked to pass me on her way to the carts.

She looked like a relatively nice woman, too, once she stopped making those Flipping Off Faces. I was pretty proud of myself for not saying anything to her, just smiling a little whenever we crossed paths in the pet section. No, I wasn't stalking her: I was looking for bedding for Ruka.

Take my word: do not mess with "Zetta" and her Volvo.

Lost

Am I really the only person in the United States who not only doesn't give two hoots about "Lost" ending this weekend, but is going to be glad to finally see it gone?

I truly think I am alone here on this particular island of Apathy.

And now for something completely different:

The Larch

And this:

Jan
Circle I Limbo

The humorless, General asshats, Bossyboots
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

RDA-pushers
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Apple
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Human parrots
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

MAS
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Militant Creationists, Overly righteous people, Teabaggers
Circle VII Burning Sands

Insurance companies
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Karl Rove, The Catholic hierarchy (you know which ones I mean), Hatemongers of every political stripe
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

h/t Amy

Best / Worst of the Week

Well, it's by Jessica Harper

And the winning author's name? I'm having Star Wars flashbacks on this one.

Mail call

I just arrived at work, and was flipping through my mail. I came across this envelope that looks very official, with an outline of our illustrious state. I'm thinking "tax stuff?" It's from some place called Personnel Concepts in Ontario, California, however, so I'm getting more and more confused. Near the bottom in large letters it says "Compliance update 2010." In bold lettering above my name it says:

[STATE] BUSINESSES
INSIDE: 9 FEDERAL AND [STATE]
REGULATIONS AFFECTING YOUR EMPLOYEES
IMMEDIATE RESPONSE REQUESTED

Below is my name--and it's actually correct!--followed by a comma and "Owner/Manager."

And I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh...

Whoever opened the mail yesterday got a chuckle too, because the "Owner/Manager" is circled with red Sharpie.

Epic

OMFG.

I work in a public library, so I'm very well aware of Teh Stoopud. But, jeez, THIS tops it all: how do you get to Facebook? Read the comments. Stunning.

H/t Shelly

Update and further thoughts. I don't actually agree with the summary, however.

Really?

OK, seriously. Do people not know anymore that R.S.V.P. stands for "Répondez s'il vous plaît"? Yes, it's French, but see that first word: répondez? It strongly resembles an English word: respond.

"S'il vous plaît" does NOT mean "if you feel like it" or "if you get around to it." Just ignore it, especially if it confuses you.

The key is "RESPOND."

[Explanation: I sent 25 invitations out to an event tonight. Some were via USPS, some were via Facebook. I got about 11 responses total. Some of the people who didn't respond may not have been in town since the invitation arrived, and it is holiday season, but I know at least three of those people have been in town all week(end) and two of the three are definitely home tonight.]

Fashion advice from the library

originally published 11/10/06

I know I'm not exactly a shining example in the haute world, but I do have one piece of basic advice in terms of color matching:

If you choose to dye your graying-blonde hair bright orange in order to be seasonal--or is it because you want people to confuse your head with a pumpkin or a pile of maple leaves?--please, I beg you, do NOT wear a fluffy pale-pink chenille turtleneck.
My suggestion: wait until December, dye your hair poinsetta-red, and then wear the pink. Because, especially for old people, orangey-streaky-blonde juxtaposed with pale pink is just too much of a color shift and it may induce seizures in passersby. Or vomiting, in same. And it would be a shame to ruin your Doc Martens.

Thanks. Now, I must get back to work.